October 17, 2021

Ask Janice: Should I Meet My Separate Father?

Dear Janice, my wife has already started. planning Christmas Day. She is always very efficient and likes to get ahead of the game, so now the topic is who is coming, what we are eating, the times and so on. But for me, last year was one of the best Christmas days of my childhood. As we were in the lockdown there was just me, my wife and our teenage daughter going through the festivities, and for the first time it was relaxed and cool from start to finish.

I wish it was the same this year, but he is very excited about Christmas. How can I stop her from moving forward with plans to reunite with a large family? Graham

Dear Graham, It was a great day for you, but was it a great day for your wife and daughter? I think somehow, or she won’t be so quick to put plans into a festive home.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is not to worry too much about things in the future. About 80% of what we worry about doesn’t really happen, and we should have taught it last year. How many plans did we all make for 2020 that failed?

Anything can change between now and Christmas. Guests may have their own plans, some may still be wary of the crowd, or like you, like to celebrate on their own. Your wife is focusing on something positive that may be needed at the moment, so don’t underestimate her enthusiasm. Give it a try and show some interest in it.

Graham, whatever the outcome, it’s only one day.

Dear Janice, I haven’t seen my father since I was 15, and now at 85, he contacted a distant relative and asked if he could arrange to see us. Is? My mother told me that my father had disappeared without explanation and that he had no idea where he had gone. Apparently, he never contacted her again.

Whenever I asked her something, she was always confused and would quickly stop talking. She is dead and I have no answer. what shall I do? Olivia

Dear Olivia, so far you have no choice. Now you do. There’s always a chance that what your dad shows you will cause you inconvenience, and you’ll wish you never agreed to the offer, but if you don’t, do you really? Will you ever know

He can give you the answers you have been looking for all these years. Your mom will have reasons to stop talking, but now you have the opportunity to open the conversation and ask face to face. Either way, there will probably be sadness. If he is not the father you hoped for, you may be disappointed. But, if he seems like the dad you wanted in your life, you may be worried about losing all those years. But at 85, this may be your last chance.

The outcome of a degree depends on your ability to deal with the situation (good or bad). You have lived all these years without it in your life, which is sometimes painful and you want to leave it at that time, but you have dealt with the situation and I think you will deal with it somehow. good luck.

Dear Janice, without any conscience, little by little my partner has left a country. Lockdown doesn’t help, but he’s always been a moody guy whose glass is always half empty. He is constantly looking for the negative in everything. I keep asking her to join me in the gym, go out to eat, meet friends, but she’s not interested. His negative mood is really affecting me and I don’t know what to do. I love it, but I can’t imagine such a future with it. Daniel

Dear Daniel, your partner may be suffering from mental illness. Health Problems that need to be taken seriously, so make sure they see your GP as soon as possible. If he needs help, be there to help him in any way you can.

However, if it’s just “he”, and he’s always behaved that way, there’s nothing you can do to change it.

Daniel, if your happiness depends only on the fact that he is doing the right thing, then you have lost your strength. It’s hard to see the other half of us trapped, partly because we love them and want to see them happy, and partly because it’s great to be with happy, positive people.

When our happiness depends on someone else’s mood, we must remember who we are, regardless of our partner’s struggles.

Hopefully he is not suffering from any kind of disease but, if he maintains the same behavior, you should do everything that makes you happy.

If that means leaving it behind, then so be it. The future of anything is not the future.

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