The way children are raised in their early years has a huge impact on their behavior, and ultimately the way they perceive and interact with the world as adults.
In fact, 90% of brain development occurs by the age of five – before most children start school.
This means that by the time they get to the classroom, the nervous system has been established and the behavior has taken root again and again.
Primary school teacher Amanda Burns * says: “I recently read something that was very well explained – if you imagine a brain like cement and, in the first five years, you can turn it around.
“But when these experiments happen, they are like rocks there and then the cement hardens and it becomes part of who they are and you really can’t get rid of it.”
With 30+ new students each year, teachers experience how different types of parents affect children’s behavior – and Amanda confirms that there is a strong bond between the two.
If you imagine a brain like cement and, in the first five years, you can just turn it around.
Primary school teacher
Here, she reveals which parental styles demand attention, antagonism, entitlement, or taking children back to class.
Description: Helicopter parents pay close attention to their child’s experiences and problems, often to their safety. Like helicopters, they “hover overhead”, constantly monitoring every aspect of their child’s life.
As one of the most hotly debated estimates of modern parents, it may come as a surprise to learn that – in some cases – when it comes to school life, helicopter printing is incredibly positive. May be.
Amanda says: “It really depends on the parent’s relationship with the child and the parent’s relationship with the teacher. If they all get married, it’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.
“if you [the teacher] Have a positive relationship with the parents, there are many things you can do to make a real impact on this child and they are happy too.
“I’ve definitely had a positive experience.”
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However, if any of these relationships break down, things get worse quickly.
Amanda says: “Their parents can be very protective, but if they don’t have a good relationship with their teacher, that’s a problem.
“The child can see it and then he can’t show any respect to that teacher and you will see this behavior in school.
“Similarly, if parents do not have a good relationship with their child, they may be able to be healthy and really understand the child instead of going to many educators.
“They [the child] It will be more focused on the teacher and it will become a welfare issue.
Description: Dictatorial parents are strict and strict. Their focus is on obedience, discipline and control through law and punishment.
If you think angelic children are born as a result of strict parenting, think again.
“If the parents are very fast, very strict, then what happens is that it triggers the children’s fight, flight or frozen reaction,” says Amanda.
She explains that, due to the huge development of the brain by the age of five, it can be really harmful if children do not understand why they are being yelled at or told, even from a good place. Why not
“If they’re being told, ‘No, don’t do that,’ and that’s it, then they’re just getting that nervous response, which means they’re a little egg shell in the classroom.”
“It means they get frozen in a fight, flight or very fast which then affects a lot of behavior and it comes from needs that weren’t met before and it comes from this kind of threat response. There is more to it than meets the eye. “
What happens if the parents are very fast, very strict, then it triggers the children’s fight, flight or frozen reaction.
Primary school teacher
This can lead to deviations (fights) that can lead to extremes such as children knocking on tables in the classroom.
On the flight a child will be out of the situation, or even completely out of class.
Amanda says: “It’s not uncommon for children to be chased around schools.
“It always happens that every child tries to hunt because he has gone on his flight because he can’t handle the situation emotionally so he has to distance himself from it.”
The most easily overlooked is the frozen reaction, which Amanda warns may look like compliance.
She explains: “If a child gets a result or is told and then he goes silent, it seems as if he is reflecting or he has understood, but in reality, his nervous system is frozen. I am gone and they have stopped. “
Description: Permissive parents rarely set or enforce rules to avoid conflict and force their child to do more.
When there is no structure in the children’s home, things can go to school in one of two ways.
Amanda explained that they would either progress, because the school has the structure and boundaries that they are missing, or they would evade teachers.
She says: “You see it with the kids – you just think, ‘Why aren’t they doing what I’m saying?’
“You can see they’re not doing it on purpose and it’s really coming from the place of experiencing that when you’re saying a limit, it’s completely wrong, so I don’t have to follow it. Is.
“And it’s about emphasizing that try and find out where the truth is.”
Having clear expectations helps children feel safe, and Amanda explains that things “get worse” if parents don’t have consistency.
“If they are,” she says. [parents] Say you can watch another show and then bedtime, and it’s 30 minutes later and the show was five minutes long, it’s confusing. So there is no trust.
When the limits are reached, it makes you feel anxious.
Primary school teacher
“It simply came to our notice then.
“That’s where the school comes in – the teacher says something but you don’t know what they really mean.
“So I can say, ‘Finish that last sentence,’ but. [they’re thinking]’What do they really mean?’
“Because their experience has shown them that it doesn’t have to be true.”
Description: Also known as parental neglect, this style deviates from the basics of food, clothing, and shelter, and is characterized by a lack of accountability for the child’s needs. Involuntary parents offer little guidance or upbringing, and leave the children to make their own decisions – big and small.
Children with distant or emotionally unrelated parents often begin with attention-seeking behavior when they are young, but are more likely to retreat as they get older.
Amanda explains that the general attitude of asking for attention in school, such as shouting in class, is often more about ‘connecting’.
She says: “They are trying to find this connection somewhere and this is reflected in their behavior.
“If you see a child five years or six years of age or older, and they live in a similar environment, they are more likely to be taken back because they have been helping themselves for so long.
“They may have gone through the search for this connection, not received it or received it well (which is normal because this is not a perceived behavior), and therefore may be withdrawn. Yes, distrust of adults and quite calm.
“They’re going to be one of those kids where you just think, ‘Oh, I really can’t break them or have a relationship with them.’
Description: Stressed parents try to live an ugly life through their children and impose their attitudes and intentions on their children.
When the relationship between parent and child breaks down, the parents have a similar effect on the upbringing of the helicopter.
In either case, they are insisting on something and not taking into account the child’s preferences and opinions.
Amanda says it could take the children back.
She says: “You’d think he’d be a little more clingy to the teacher than I would say, but quiet.
“They have been silenced because they do not feel they have been heard.”
* Name changed.
In other parenting news, we told you about the mother’s trick to encourage restless children to eat.
We also revealed how another mother was cursed at the lunch box for packing her “hungry” five-year-old daughter.
And a third mother told other parents to call their son’s bully at the birthday party.