DEAR DIDRE: I’m sick of even writing this, but my husband admitted that he dreams about having sex with my mom.
When I found out what he thinks of my mother when he masturbates, it shook my marriage and ruined our sex life.
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Until he told me about it, a week ago we were happily married.
I’m 38, he’s 43 and we’ve been together for ten years.
Last week, lying in bed, we thought it would be nice to spice things up by talking about our fantasies. We agreed to discuss what really turns us on.
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I went first and told him that my dream was to have sex on the beach at night and that if I could have sex with anyone, I would choose Bradley Cooper.
Then I asked him about his fantasies. He was rather reserved, but I forced him to tell me.
He eventually admitted that when he touches himself, he thinks of the people he knows—some of my friends, work colleagues, and even relatives.
Then, to my horror, he said, “Sometimes I think about your mother. She’s a real MILF.”
Since then, I can barely look him in the eyes, let alone touch me.
I’m paranoid, I wonder how long he fantasizes about my mom, who is 61 years old.
I keep wondering if he ever secretly flirted with her and if he really wants her and not me.
One thing is certain: I will never let him meet her again. No more family Christmases or parties. He thinks I’m exaggerating, but I can’t get over it.
DEIDRA SAYS: While it’s good that you and your husband can discuss things so openly, it sounds like a case of too much information and too much honesty.
He told you things you wish you didn’t know, and understandably, that made you uneasy.
Although he cannot take it back, you can try to deal with its aftermath together.
This will help you understand a little more about sexual fantasies.
Many people dream of all sorts of weird and wonderful sexual practices. But thinking about something and doing it are two different things.
Many people do not even dream of making their fantasies come true in real life.
It is the fact that they are so extreme and perverted that makes them attractive.
My sexual fantasy support package might be helpful for you.
Please talk to your husband again and try to deal with this.
The shock will pass.
My Care for Your Relationship Support Package should help.
And maybe you will agree that it is better for him to stick to his other fantasies.