My cannabis addiction made me think about suicide

A mother of two suicidal due to her cannabis addiction holds Marijuana Anonymous meetings in Scotland.

Joanna, 46, from Glasgow, has described how her £30 a day habit has allowed her to smoke up to 15 joints a night for 25 years, barely missing a day.


Joanna smoked up to 15 joints a night1 credit
Her Addiction Nearly Led Her To Take Her Own Life


Her addiction nearly led her to take her own life1 credit

It got to the point where her son didn’t tell her he loved her and she repeatedly lied to her mom to get cash, pretending it was for paying bills and shopping for groceries.

On Tuesday, March 1st, she will host Scotland’s first Marijuana Anonymous meeting, which mirrors the 12-step recovery program used by addicts.

Currently, face-to-face sessions are only available in England in the UK, with the Scots forced to join Zoom.

Joanna, who did not want to give her last name, says she will be sober for one year on March 4.

She said: “It really affected my mental health to the point where I was suicidal and hurt myself thinking about stepping under buses.

“I just didn’t want to live.

“I started taking Valium to get a better effect because weed no longer made me high.

“I owed the dealer £450 and borrowed money from my mom pretending I needed money for gas, food and electricity.

“I threw it in the trash, trying to throw it, and then I fish it out again after a few hours.

“Before, I wouldn’t go anywhere without him. I woke up at night to smoke.

“I would ask people for it if I could smell it on the street, putting myself in dangerous situations. I would go to the worst places in Glasgow to pick it up.

“I didn’t take my kids on vacation, I wasn’t emotionally present due to the fact that I used weed. I always said, “I’ll stop on Monday.”

Police officers returned a Shetland man’s prescription for medical marijuana, which they confiscated and threatened to charge him with.

“My eldest son would never say he loves me, but when he sees that I am serious and stop, he says that he loves me every time he sees me now.

“But now everything is fine, I wake up every morning wanting to live.

“During the second lockdown, I was on vacation and I became very ill.

“I made my 12 steps and now I am the sponsor of two drug addicts. But I have had to hold meetings through Zoom, and in-person meetings are much better.

“It’s a slowly developing addiction that wears you down with years of smoking: first it’s magic, then the cure, and then comes the madness.

“It’s only years later that you realize you’re out of control and you can’t live without it.”

The meeting will take place on March 1st at The Quaker Meeting House, Elmbank Crescent, Glasgow from 19:00 to 20:00 and every Tuesday thereafter.

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