Dear Daddy: I had sex with a woman I met on the internet and now I’m worried that I might have been used as a sperm donor – or blackmailed.
We were both very direct in our messages and made it clear that we were just looking for sex.
We arranged to meet at his cottage in the countryside. She told me she was 40 but looked like 50. I am 42 years old.
I parked my car a short distance away and walked down the lane to his house. On the way, I noticed that the pink baby clothes were drying on the washing line. There were men’s trainers in the hallway, and on one side was a picture of a man holding a baby.
We went upstairs to a bedroom where the bed was made. It was clear that two people were sleeping in it.
We undressed and kissed each other but he was not interested in foreplay. Everything felt fast. During sex, he said he wanted me to climax. He repeated it many times.
For more advice from Dear Daddy.
No problem is too small, too big or too embarrassing. Read our personal answers here.
- Lovingly Deidre on sex
- Dear Daddy on relationships.
- Dear Daddy at the wedding.
- Dear Daddy on the family.
- Dear Daddy about parents.
- Dear Daddy, on grief.
After that, she took a condom and left the bedroom, saying she had thrown it away. While I was dressing, I saw about 35 men in the garden. He seemed familiar with the place.
I think he saw this young man, because he ran down the stairs again. He opened the front door and quickly closed it again. I don’t know if this other man was for sex or if he was her partner. There was no sign of it when I left.
He wants to meet again but I’m stuck with the whole thing. Should I go or not?
Can she use me as a sperm donor? Does she intend to blackmail me? Maybe he is addicted to sex.
Every issue gets a personal answer, usually within 24 hours on weekdays.
Daddy says: I’m not surprised you were restless. I think your instinct is right – it can be a sexual habit and that’s why it invites other men to have sex.
If he already has a partner, this could be an open relationship arrangement.
Or, alternatively, you are being used as a sperm donor – maybe not for that but for someone else.
Either way, this experience has made you feel uneasy. Trust your gut and stay away.
Please be careful when meeting someone through websites. Take the time to get to know them well, in the real world, before you go to bed again. Unfortunately, there are many unscrupulous people who suffer from loneliness through the internet.
My support pack Love Online will help you think this.